2 old married men chatting in a bar. First man says " Have you ever thought that marriage was a bit of a lottery?". The second man replied "Not at all. At least you have a slight chance with a lottery.


I was talking to my friend Joe the other day and he said "Do you know, I've
loved the same woman now for over 35 years?".
"That’s lovely" I replied. "But if the wife found out, she would murder me".

Two friends were out hunting one day when one collapsed suddenly. His friend
checks for signs breathing but there seems to be none. He calls the emergency
services on his mobile phone. "My friend has died" he sobbed. "What should I
do?" The operator tells him in a calm relaxed voice "First thing is to make sure
that he is actually dead". After a few seconds silence, a loud shot can be heard.
The man returns to his phone and says " Okay what next?".

Two old men were chatting in the park. First man said " My wife puts our wealth
down to the old adage that behind each successful man there is his woman. The
second man said " and mine always said behind a fall of each successful man
there is always someone else's woman".

2 men jokes in pub
Two men go into a pub, order their drinks and sit down. Then they each take out some
sandwiches and start to eat them. The barman shouts "Hey, you can't eat your own food here". They look at each other, and with a shrug of their shoulders, swap sandwiches and carry on.


Two men are chatting in a bar. First man says "I've had terrible luck with both of my wives". "How come?" said the second man. "Well" said the first man "My first wife left me .... and my second wife hasn't."


Two men talking in a pub. First man said " How did you get that black eye?" Second man " My wife hit me and it was all because of television programmes". "I don't understand" said the first man. "Well, she asked me if I knew what was on TV. and I replied - dust".


Two men were chatting in a pub. First man says "What is your wife’s name?".
Her name is Doris but I call her five horses replied the second man.
"Why do you call her that?"
"NAG NAG NAG NAG NAG is all she ever does" he replied.

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